— heart resistance is kind of physically painful.

[Paul “Goose” Kus of Twisted Ankles]

Last Friday I shot for Party, Party at College Street Bar for black-rap, Grand Groove and Prizefighter. Aka, Bozack Morris, DJ Royale and DJ Big Jacks, and of course, DJ Mensa. College Street Bar is always such a chill and intimate location to throw a jam and there were good peoples and new faces to make the night memorable. This was probably the best party I’ve ever taken pictures at because 1. No drunkies were trying to grab my camera to “take a picture of me” and 2. Everyone was so photogenic and having fun with the cam. All ya’ll made my job easy!

— Clean up your mess, Char.

I guess you can say I’ve been going through my own self-induced turmoil lately. I’m aware of the type of life I’ve chosen for myself — I am stupid busy. Not only am I full time student in a very demanding program, I work… all the time. Whether it’s cutting a video, filming, editing photos, shooting, blogging, writing, dreaming and manifesting this thing you see here, lovehard, and the potential of what the future of this is… I don’t stop. I feel afraid to — I am fearful of becoming stagnant, stuck, I push myself to never stop moving because I see it as opportunity lost…

And yet, amongst it all, I find it difficult to be… consistently content. I forget to… appreciate what I’ve accomplished… I forget to… be good enough for myself. When I am thinking of what’s in front of me, I’m already thinking of what else needs to be done right after that. I get angry at myself that my brain is super saturated with these “GO, GO, GO” thoughts. I get angry that my days are filled with always being in front of a computer and always using technological gadgetry. I get angry that there is no freaking nature that’s easily accessible to me here in Toronto (I’m a spoiled Vancouverite). I even get angry that I can’t  turn off my phone for a whole day without it affecting a ripple of people and things that I am accountable for.

Mickey D’s and Cornhusks are the first thing I think of when I hear Rich Kidd’s name. He’s been mentioned in previous posts before [here and here] and if you live in Toronto and still have never heard of him… I seriously wonder what you do with your life. 23 years old and working as a full time producer, Ritchie inspires me in more ways than he knows.

“Look at the way, look at the way, look at the way that I rock, rock…” About a week and a half ago I got invited to the brand new EP release party for Toronto’s very own Times Neue Roman. A zany fusion of sounds that can only be best described as nintendo-hiphop-punk-rap, Talkin’ Sporty makes me feel like I was playing Super Mario on 3D with some insane light show… on SHROOMS. Lol. Even better than listening to the album on my Panasonic RP HTX7’s? Times Neue Roman LIVE. Consisting of producer extraordinaire, Alexander The, and Vancouver native award winning poet Arowbe — these two make a bad ass duo.

Tis a new party, and the FIRST party that lovehard is officially partnering in on. Whaaaaaaaat! The vibe of this jam is unreal — givin’ you the best of 80’s dance, freestyle, r&b, disco and pop. Aka BUCKETS of unadulterated fun. Reach next Friday at lula lounge and grace me with your presence, will ya?

This video is a re-make to Taylor Dayne’s ‘Tell It To My Heart‘, starring myself, Justin, Johnny and cameos by the Beetles. Soooooo much love and thanks to Lenny Len for choreographing/filming/editing this! It was such a fun shoot, being able to bust out my Jessie Spano hip action and chest pumps, LOL. And our HOTT ASS outfits were styled by none other than Pretty Freedom in Kensington Market. I looooove those guys!!

THIS FRIDAY FOLKS!!! Come through! It’s only 5 bones rsvp, show up before 11:30. Join me on the dance floor and battle my hip action whilst we p-p-p-pump it to HUGGS and L’OQENZ’s t-t-t-t-tunesss.

Scoop up DJ L’Oqenz’s Last Night A DJ Saved My Life mixtape here. Get a feel for what you can expect this coming Friday…. ughhh this mixtape actually… could possibly be added onto my top ten faves of Toronto DJ’s.  !!!!!!  Lula Lounge, SEE YOU THERE.

FACEBOOK EVENT PAGE: click here.

Heart: “You know… sometimes, I really wish I wasn’t stuck with you.”
Mind: “STUCK with me?! What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
Heart: “I can’t… freaking… separate myself from you. You. You’re always around, always yapping. Yap yap yap yap YAP. Always telling me to be sensible, be reasonable, stop being so over emotional–“
Mind: “Yeah, because you do stupid things when you’re emotional–”
Heart: “WELL AT LEAST I FEEL–“
Mind: “HEY! Don’t get me started on listing off the things I’ve done to stop you from doing some really, really, dumb things–”
Heart: “and VICE VERSA, you piece of sh*t!”
Mind: “Trust me. I know these things. I have the foresight to know that we’re doing the best thing possible.”
Heart: “Ugghhhhh youuuuu annnoyyyy meeeeeeee.”
Mind: “You really wanna do what you want? You will come running back to me. I guarantee it.”
Heart: “You treat me like I’m your stupid little sibling sometimes. Like I don’t know anything.”
Mind: “Uhhh, that’s because you don’t know how to know. You only feel.”
Heart: “AND YOU FEEL NOTHING BECAUSE YOU’RE RIGID AND ROBOTIC AND OVER-ANALYTICAL.”
Mind: “… Woooowwww.”
Heart: “Why do you impose that we always have to do the sensible thing? We always have to be realistic? Are you happy? I’m not happy.”
Mind: “But your feeling of ‘happy’ is fleeting. It’s temporary. And so is your feeling of anger towards me right now.”
Heart: “… Sure.”
Mind: “Can we come to some mutual ground already? You know already that this, you and me, it’s a relationship, an unbeatable force when we’re aligned. There are times you put me in my place, tell me to trust your instinct despite what the logistics say. This is one of those times, when I am putting YOU in YOUR place. We are simply destined for something else.”
Heart: “… Heeey… that’s what I always say to You.”
Mind: “Yup, and now I’m using your own sh*t against you. Suck on that.”
Heart: “Ha. You’re lucky I dont have arms to punch you.”
Mind: “Pfffbt, please. YOU’RE lucky I’m not a Jedi or else I’d Jedi mind trick ya.”
Heart: “… that was a TERRIBLE joke.”
Mind: “Bwaaahaha. Whatever. You feel better? Well, ya will. Now beat it, will ya?”
Heart: “Haha. If I stopped, I’d be dead.”
Mind: “… And you say I have terrible humor…”

— if there is one thing I absolutely detest, it is when I’ve made several attempts to write what I’m thinking only to hit backspace every. single. time.

— fudge brownie toffee crunch from the BIG CHILL ice cream parlor on College… could very well be the reason why I overdose on sugar and die a sugary death.