This song has really gotten deep under my skin. Alicia Keys has always been a highly respected artist in my books, producing songs that have moved me and shook me and got me real good. I know five million people have blogged and talked about her latest album, ‘Element of Freedom’… but it is just THAT worthy of me reiterating it again. To me, this is my most favorite song off of her album (thus far, until another song seems to speak my life, then that statement is subject to change.) If you haven’t heard it yet, Unthinkable, by Alicia Keys feat. Drake.

I’m not one for posting youtube videos on my blog, but this one is a worthy supplement to my story. Big ups to Huggy Fresh for sharing this with me.
To hear a background story like that in terms of the creation and production of this track with an amazing artist like Alicia? Holy. That’s what it’s about. Be in a room full of like-minded, creative visionaries. Don’t be intimidated. Share. Share your art. Share your heart. Magic happens. No matter what the art form… This song just brought me to a whole new level of respect for Drake and Alicia, real talks…


I had an incredible conversation with one of my closest friends here in Vancouver about this song.

Sometimes we think too much. We think about tomorrow, we think about yesterday, we think about the cause and the effect. How about the in-between? How about the today? The right here? The right now? I know I’m subject to this. I have my moments where I lose confidence in putting myself out there, I get afraid to allow myself to be vulnerable. But who doesn’t... It’s so difficult to remind ourselves to just… speak, say, reach, hold, touch, love, be… Maybe we just gotta break out of the systematic way of how we know life works, maybe we just gotta throw away the structure, the befores and afters… and in the moment… just do. Whatever is in your heart of hearts, just live it. Whatever is unthinkable, irrational, illogical…

It just might be… beautiful.

In that brief instant, you are beautiful… because you are being everything you thought was impossible. Love, maybe this is how life’s meant to be experienced…


Moment of honesty
Someone’s gotta take the lead tonight
Whose it gonna be?
I’m gonna sit right here
And tell you all that comes to me
If you have something to say
You should say it right now

I was wondering maybe
Could I make you my baby
If we do the unthinkable would it make us look crazy
If you ask me I’m ready

I know you once said to me
“This is exactly how it should feel when it’s meant to be”
Time is only wasting so why wait for eventually?
If we gon’ do something ’bout it
We should do it right now

You give me a feeling that I never felt before
And I deserve it, I know I deserve it
Its becoming something that’s impossible to ignore
It’s what we make it

Why give up before we try
Feel the lows before the highs
Clip our wings before we fly away
I can’t say I came prepared
I’m suspended in the air
Won’t you come be in the sky with me …

– Alicia Keys and Drake

I’ve spoken my piece.


Comments (2)

Can you be

[beautiful artists inspire me. they move words that wont seem to leave my mouth. they push thoughts aside in this jumbled brain of mine and make me think… make me think the unthinkable. excuse me while I release…]

Just stand and be brave
Just stand, arms stretched and hands open
a pumping, living, beating, breathing
heart, heart. it’s my Heart.

Can you be
Can you be
Can you be


Hide behind your pride
Hide behind your ego
Hide behind your laughs
They’re a good cover
Save your face
You look better


Tell me it’s worth not being scared
Tell me it’s worth stepping out
Tell me it’s worth saying
Because if it isn’t you,
then it’s me.
I’m thinking I should bring possibilities into existence
I’m thinking I should stop this wondering
I’m thinking I should stop asking walls

Would I look crazy?
Would I look foolish?
Would it even matter?
Would it make a difference?

Or would it be…
could it be?

If you ask me, I’ll tell you.
I’ll tell you..

For once I don’t want to think
I don’t want to talk
I don’t want to worry about tomorrow
I don’t want to worry about yesterday
I wanna be in the now
Right here, right now
the unthinkable.
with You.

If you ask me, I’ll tell you..
I’ll tell you.

I wanna be ready.


A Christmas for the books.


It’s been a minute since I’ve spent the winter holiday in the west, and I can’t say that I regret my decision to come here and be poor over being alone and making coin in Toronto. My family from Cali came up to join us and we all celebrated the Christmas goodness at my grandaunt’s house in Victoria. It was so good. SO so SO SOOOOOOO GOOD.

All I did for the past three days is eat, sleep, eat, nap, watch movies, hang with the young blood cousins, cool out with the older cousins… it was great. I miss them already. I definitely have some memorable flicks taken of the fam and a few video clips I’ll share soon.

I’ll keep this short for now. There’s a lot on my mind and a lot I want to share, but a few more pressing matters require my attention at the present moment.

I leave you with a flick of my most favorite little cousin in Cali. She is my mini-me… when we were toddlers we looked exactly alike. She followed me around my entire stay in Victoria, my little keeper even knew where all my stuff was for me! Lol. I love her to death because she is brilliant, beautiful, and absolutely hilarious.

my little mini-me!

I’ve spoken my piece.

Comments (1)

Rain vs. Snow = Whatever's warmer WINS

Tis true. As expected of Vancouver winters, cloudy grey with a 90% chance of rain has graced me with it’s presence. Do I complain? Yes, of course, I hate rain. Do I stop complaining when I think of the cold and snow Toronto experiences this time of year? Absolutely. If I could have neither, I would, but until I can move to a land far away where winter is non-existent, I shall brace the cold and wet with a bitter smile on my face.

The weekend has breezed by and it’s been glorious. Too many momentous events occurred. Let’s RECAP:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/charloro/sets/72157623048131896/[for full album of Amie’s party, click here.]

Friday marked the 21st birthday of my best friend, Amie. We’ve been an indestructible duo since we were in grade nine. Two extremely polar opposite humans have found a way over the last 8 years to accept and love each other unconditionally. I believe three things ultimately brought us together: 1. BOYS, 2. We’re CRAZY and 3. FOOD. Leave us in a room full of spicy tuna rolls, buffalo wings, bubble tea, deep fried fish cakes, old dutch jalepeno cheddar chips, and potato salad from Earl’s and you’ll find nothing but two (extremely cute) girls with residual crumbs and sauce smears on their faces who both look like they’re 7 months preggers. We’ll then most likely itis out watching some cheesey romantic comedy movies post feast. She is the tree and I’m the stump. She is the jocky, white girl, sophisticated stylish, softer spoken (except for when it really matters), CANUCKS CRAZED, spicy addict, country music and white boy lover, whereas I am the ganggstta, vintage-mother’s closet, candid speaker, hates spicy loves salty, old school hip hop/funk/soul, chocolate man looooverrrr. If we weren’t so different I don’t think we’d appreciate each other as much as we do. I love this girl with all my heart and am down for her till the day we die. No matter how much we grow in different directions and change to become the people we will, I will never stop cherishing what we have and I will never hesitate to end up in some random city like Ottawa if she needed me. That’s a promise that will never be broken, real talks.

Amie’s birthday celebrations included a wonderful surprise organized by her other best friend Teri and her boyfriend Jay. Simply Delicious is exactly that… a simply delicious sushi restaurant. Awaiting her arrival were some of our high school friends and other well appreciated relations she’s garnered over the years. What better way to ring in 21 than to be with great friends, SUSHI and the Canucks on the big screen?! Oh, and let’s not forget the personally signed photo of Amie by Mason Raymond. Big ups to the BF for waiting in line for 2 hours. Just aannotthherrr piece of memorabilia to add to the ridiculous collection of Canucks stuff this girl already owns. (You should see her room. Sickeningly full of Canucks goods.)

After Amie’s party, I made an appearance at the annual Fam Pajama Christmas party. I love these humans. They became my crew of all crews this past summer. Although I was definitely overdressed, the CINNZEO (Cinnabon’s name on the West Coast), jello shots and WILD’N OUT was suuuuuupper fun. Oh… and blueberries, of course;)

http://www.flickr.com/photos/charloro/sets/72157623048364444/[for the Fam’s full Christmas party album, click here.]

Saturday was a canceled photo shoot with Amie and Richie due to the predicted fatigue of the birthday girl from the night before. It was definitely not looked down upon, especially considering Richie and I both needed the extra hours of slumber. I spent my afternoon with the delightful Adi Baybay of the Boombox Saints. A trip downtown to walk around the new Vancouver Convention Center (which, by the way, is absolutely gorrrgeous) was greatly appreciated along with the heart-to-heart conversations Adi and I shared. Take note: this is an extraordinary being who has come into my life just earlier this year and I have not a single doubt in my mind that he’s going to conquer the world. And he’s going to take every single person who’s down for the hustle with him. I have nothing but mad love for Adi and the Boombox Saints fam. Let’s get ready to riiisseee…

Our chill sesh would also not be what it was had we not gone to GUU. (I had it planned in the back of my mind the entire time.) As if I haven’t spoken/facebooked/tweeted about this restaurant enough, Guu is hands down my favorite Japanese restaurant ever. We walked into the Gastown location with many warm hugs and greetings from the staff who I acquainted myself so well with over the summer. Tamo, Yuki, Suguru and fam… thank youuuuu SO much. I’m known as the “Tront girl” there. And by “Tront” I mean “Toronto.” Lol. Complimentary earl grey creme brulee and cheesecake on the hizzouse?! Why do I feel like such a superstar?! Arigato Gozaimasu.

My Saturday evening was the last SoPhresh Saturday at the Wild Coyote ever in life. New owners = a new building = no more original Saturday Yote nights. Say what you may, but for those who have ever attended a SoPhresh Saturday cannot deny that friendships were formed, good times were had, and Red Dragons were consumed. (I believe it was the first place and first time I ever took one of those.) Congrats to the Phresh Vibe crew, especially to Juice, Jin, Hustle, and Mikey for 5 successful years. This is not the end. If you’re a loyal support of the Phresh Vibe fam, I encourage you to stay tuned with future updates on party action to come.

Sunday was a bright and way too early morning start of the day. I attended church with my family and reunited with many of my childhood friends. I will always love GIBC and be thankful to them for raising me and helping me grow into the woman I am today. Although I’ve moved and have grown in a different direction, it doesn’t change the fact that I’ll never stop appreciating who they all were to me at one point in time.

To be completely frank, I know some people are concerned or wonder about me… how did I go from being an avid church attendee who was heavily involved in ministries, to not going to church at all? Apparently it makes people wonder even more when they see my side shaved head, nose piercing and photos of alcohol consumption or partying, things that used to definitely not be of my nature. Well, if you really want to know what’s up and you’re too afraid it’s a touchy subject to bring up to my face, here it is, plain and simple: I am the happiest I have ever been. Genuinely, authentically and truly. Do I believe in God? Yes. Do I believe in religion? For the most part, no. Do I look down upon people who choose this lifestyle of attending church and being involved in ministries? Absolutely not. Do you, as I’m doing me. Whatever makes you whole, who can say anything against that? So you don’t need to say anything against me. I experience a liberation within myself almost every day embracing the simple fact that I can make out of my life whatever I will it to be. I have goals and cargo pants and vest pockets full of dreams. What makes me the happiest I’ve ever been is knowing that I’m attracted and surrounded by likewise incredible humans, I am achieving one goal at a time, and I’m exploring this world and milking it for all it’s worth. Thank you to those who’ve been loyal to me and never doubted me, despite my drastic growth and changes over the years that you may or may not agree with. In the end, I’m not here to please anyone. Thanks to those who acknowledge this. I’ll never forget who you’ve been to me.


[for full Choir/Family holiday fun album, click here.]

Anyway. Enough with the heavy stuff. BACK to my Sunday…
I watched my mom’s choir perform at a senior’s home. Filipino choir accents are my favorite. You should seriously see my mom sing in the choir. She is ADORABLE. Accentuates every single word… I love it! After some family photos in front of the Christmas tree, many ‘Tita Erla’ jokes and such, my family and I had a late lunch/early dinner at Cucina Manila right near our house. BOMB BOMB BOMB sinigang and bifsteak. I LOVE Filipino food!

Less than two hours later, I had a second dinner, this time at the Keg. Neil’s Annual Christmas dinner extravanganzaaa. You don’t understand, apparently this dude invited me 5 months ago in the summer to prepare me for this feast. I completely forgot about it. Neil goes ALL OUT. I had Filet Mignon wrapped in applewood bacon?! Twice baked potato?! Extra 3-cheese butter?! BAKED GARLIC SHRRAMMPSS?!? Oh my goodness I’m salivating. Thank you so, so, so, SO much for the invite, Neil. Great company and lots of laughs were had with new and familiar faces.

After the belt-breaker feast, my broski picked me up and we went to Tara’s where we JUST missed the rest of the bridal party — Grace, Elsa, Lien… but did I miss my baby boy Jayden?! NO I DID NOT!! Baby was up until 11pm with us and I witness him take the most steps he’s ever walked on his own! I nearly got it on camera. Speculations of a trip to Toronto in the summer with the Rodas family and Nelly? BABY JAYDEN TROMPING THE STREETS OF TORONTO with his baby J’s I bought him a few months back?!?! YES YES AND YES! My Godson is the BEST and CUTEST and if you have any differing opinions you can SUCK IT and keep it to yourself!


[for full album of Neil’s dinner/Jayden, click here.]

I’m tired.
That was an extremely long blog post. For those who actually read through the entire thing, comment, and you shall receive a consolation prize… perhaps a cinnabon if I know you personally. (But you have to let me eat the center. Muahahah.)

Christmas is this weekend! I’m so excited to go back to Victoria! My cousins from California!
Why is this winter vacation soooooo awesome (minus the incessant jokes made by my father about his disagreement with my side shaved head. He now says, ‘Iss becoz you cannot hear in one ear berry well and das why you shabe it so dat you can leesten properrly!!’) WHATEVER FAJA.

I’m outta here.
I’ve spoken my piece.


the United Black Students Conference 2009

[vimeo vimeo.com/8269157]

On November 20th-22nd, the United Black Students of Ryerson put together the first ever United Black Students Conference. Representatives from Calgary, Halifax, Montreal and even down in the States came to Toronto to stand together, inspire each other, and create action plans for real change in their communities. I had the pleasure of filming these wonderful humans. Apologies and big thanks to those who waited patiently for this video’s unveiling. It’s been a crazy month. For a written re-cap you can check the post entitled Courage.

If you wanna scope some of the pics, check em out here: DAY 1/DAY 2, and not quite sure about DAY 3 because I believe John Black took photos for the last day of the conference. Big ups and mad love to TOportfolio Photography for the sweet flicks.

Can we all just go back and relive this weekend? Please and thank you. =)

I’ve spoken my piece.

Comments (2)

In my Mother's closet…

The only way I can afford to look stylin’ when I please is through one of three sources: 1. Value Village/Thrift stores/yard sales 2. the Beetles’ (my roomates) closet, and 3. My Mother’s overly packed ratted vintage goods.

It has become a routine now that every time I come home to Vancouver to visit, my mom and I convene in her bedroom as she lays out ‘new’ additions to her ridiculously large collection of what I used to believe were ugly, tacky accessories/clothing. It goes without saying that of course some of these things are still arguably atrocious and should have stayed in the 80’s… but hey, when I was a young blood and my mother tried to give me some of this stuff ie. her vintage red adidas track jacket, aka my favorite adidas track jacket of all time, I thought this stuff was butt ugly. My eye and taste has evidently changed drastically since then, and to be honest, the fact that these hand-me-downs once belonged to my mom and my grandmother make me feel a connectedness to my family that I can never feel anywhere else.

I am in love with my “new” old pieces. I shall wear them with the Layo (my mother’s side) family pride.

I’ve spoken my piece.



Home for the Holi-oli-olidaayys

Christmas shopping at Metro with my godson, Jayden! MAKES ALL BABIES LOOK LIKE ASSHOLES!

Hello, from slightly drizzling and overcast Vancouver.

This is all too familiar.

The flight here was a bit brutal. My send off with Jay, Teddy and Jen was great, they took care of me… in sstttyyylleee. Needless to say, I got seated in the middle of the plane with all these crazy children who couldn’t sit still if their life depended on it. Ear phones on and music full blast, I passed out real nice and easy.

After a connecting flight from Calgary, I was finally home. It always feels as though I’ve never left. It’s a good feeling to come back to… real good.

We got to the Loro household and there I was confronted by my baby brother who’s not so much of a baby anymore. Fourteen, puberty and awkward low voice stage… it kills me sometimes knowing that I’m not here to help raise him during these teenage times. My parents never seem to age. The benefits of being asian = anti-aging! Lol. And oldest broski? Gave me the friggin ‘pick-up’ hug aka, my favorite hug in the world! My brother has NEVER hugged me like this before and as kinda sorta awkward as it was… it was sweet=)

My dad had quite the mouthful to say about my crazy locks, and lack thereof on the left side of my head. “What?! Why did you do dat?! Dat’s AHGLEE! You’re like… Torrronto gangSTAR! Why would you do dat to yourselp?!” (And this went on…) I only looked back smirking and responding with, “I’m like… one of those girls… on the street! Parang PUNKS, Pa! You don’t like it? You don’t even know the boys of New York and Toronto love it, gets me phone numbers, knawmean???” (He also, didn’t enjoy that response.) I told him to accept it. He ends the entire conversation with, “I don’t eben know what you’re doing dere in Torrronto.” Now, now, nowwww… let’s not jump to conclusions. Crazy hair does not equal reckless, irresponsible lifestyle. But my dad being a dad, he has the right to question, especially with the rebel that is me.
My mom actually likes my mane. She asks if she should shave the side of her head too because her hair is starting to thin out. She’s awesome… but I would never EVER let her do that, haha.

After this typical conversation with my parentals, my best friend Amie scooped me, and what began as a proposed bubble tea run turned into a “Let’s drop by Tunnel for 1st Love Wednesdays.”
It was sooo so so soo good to see the 1st Love fam. It felt like it was summer all over again, minus the hip-hop kareoke that they set me up to do and didn’t TELL me I was the only participant! LOL. If there’s anything I can thank those guys for, it’s for helping me get over my fear of rapping on the mic. Hahah.


Today was great. After doing some video work at Waves Coffee shop in the hood with my best friend, Amie, we hit up good ol’ Metrotown for some Christmas shopping. We were joined by my darling godson, Jayden, who is almost a year old. I have said this time and time again… the… cuuuttest… baby… everr… (makes all other babies look like assholes!) I have a new dancing game I play with him that he loves. It’s called, I sway Jayden between my knees back and forth and wave his arms in the air whilst beat boxing and saying, ‘Yeaahh yeahh! Electric Circus!!’ Hahahah. It’s a really good game to play to pass the time while Tara, his mommy, shops for boots at Spring.

Later on that evening I met up with ‘the Fam‘ aka Richie, Nesa, Airz, Sharkee, Chris, Jeremy and Jess to go scoop bubble tea and hang out at Walmart… this is at like… midnight. HA. We sat in the shoe aisle catching up on life while I kept my feet warm in bootleg Uggs that I was tempted to actually purchase. I have missed these guys dearly. I still propose a bonfire in my backyard in commemoration of our summer spent with ‘Bejewzled‘ the hooka machine, skinny dipping, and roof top climibing. Ahhhh. =)

This 2 week Christmas holiday is looking preeettty awesome. Tomorrow is my best friend’s birthday. This weekend is bound to get a liiiiittlleee crazy. If anyone is planning to hit up SoPhresh Saturdays at the Wild Coyote, take note that it is the last one PhreshVibe is throwin for awhile because they’re going under construction. Come one, come all. Things are gunna get banaaannas.

More to update soon.
I’ve spoken my piece.

Comments (1)

Dear Tainted Heart

Dear Tainted Heart,

Please don’t speak.
I know what you’re going to say
I know how it’s going to make me feel
I hate how your voice speaks loud and clear
It makes me question everything
It makes me afraid
To dance with wonderful thoughts in my ahead
To tease the ideas of possibility
A single moment has the power
of Forever.
I don’t like that.
Not when it’s bad moments.
Not when it’s moments that make me lose faith in the goodness
the goodness of real people
I want to change it.
I’m going to change it

Dear Tainted Heart, don’t speak.
Stop trying to protect me.
Stop trying to prevent me
“Only make moves when ya heart’s in it”
My embraces hold nothing but my selfishness
My kisses are mere strokes, afraid of making fire
Tell me,
How do you love courageously?
How do you love hard?
How do you love bravely when it’s burned you so bad before?

Dear Tainted Heart, bring back the purity
Bring back the ignorance
Bring back the naive and unknown
Bring back the unmarked and unbroken
Bring back the wholeness
the oneness
that was once a Complete Heart.

Dear Tainted Heart,
Please leave me alone.
I want to remember how it feels to be struck and smitten
I want to be present to good things manifesting
Not present to a future of heartache that hasn’t happened

Dear Tainted Heart,
Even though you’re here and you still try to speak
I will do all I can to forget
It felt better when you weren’t around
It felt better when I didn’t think.

Dear Tainted Heart,
I don’t hate you.
Maybe I don’t want you to go away.
I just,
I just want you
I just want you to
I just want you to heal.

Love Courageously


Girl Crush: Kaitlin Simonsen

Yesterday was a gorgeously sunny winter day in Toronto. I never used to understand how Torontonians always wore sunglasses regardless of the colder seasons, most likely because in Vancouver, winter and fall = gloom and clouds. Stunna shades during that time of the year was unheard of. But Torrronnttoo? COLD and STILL sunny? I’ll take it. I’ll look fly in my bomber and stunnas even if my limbs are frozen and about to fall off. All in the name of looking friggin good.

With that being said, myvintagesecret.com, creep that sh*t. Do it now, do it now, do it now! I had the honor yesterday to photograph the wonderful Miss Kaitlin Simonsen, fashion and style blogger of myvintagesecret.com. A true fashion visionary who takes vintage shopping to a whole new level. I came to know Kaitlin through our mutual means of making steady coin: working for our school career centre. I swear, ever since I’ve met her, her style and flair inspire me to get my act together and make a little more effort in my flyness. (I can’t use the fact that it’s natural swagger as an excuse anymore. It just won’t cut it, guys. Lol.) There are honestly some pieces this girl pulls out of the tickle trunk and rocks so hard that it blows my mind. If I ever saw that random mesh vest with crazy danglies, I’d think it was a hippy curtain and move forward. But this girl? No WAY. Visionary.

I had a blasty-blast yesterday. Not only was Kaitlin’s adorable 1950’s dollhouse (wallpaper and all!) a PLAYGROUND for me, but her closet… her closet! Envious!! We have major plans in the new year to have MyVintageSecret and Lovehard collaborating together on some pretty amazing stuff. Stay posted on this goodness.

I leave you now with a little sneak peak of what took place at yesterday’s shoot. These photos will go up on Kaitlin’s personal lookbook and website where she sells some of the vintage gems she finds on her quests. You can also creep her on twitter where she keeps you up to date with DIY’s (Do It Yourself), latest posts on her blog, and other style inspirations.

I adore you, Kaitlin! Thank you for the love and support=) It comes full circle. Trust.

Sleep awaits.
I’ve spoken my piece.


My Annoying Little Brother

A continuation of “Catching Up”, more photos to add to the archives of beautiful moments past. Red’s 21st Surprise Birthday. He didn’t even have an inkling that it was coming. October 23rd, 2009, marks the very special born day of my dear friend who has become, literally, an annoying little brother to me.

The premise was that we were going to have a lovehard productions meeting, Red, Vince and I, and were congregating at my house around 8pm. What Red DIDN’T know, was that all his closest family and friends were decked out in red like it was the new Valentine’s Day, all hiding out in my living room/kitchen, WHICH, was a jungle of red streamers and balloons… we wents CRAZY on the red okay. Lol. Anyways, Red finally walked in and I’m preeetttyyy sure I saw a piece of sh*t that looked like a brick come out of his ass. I LOVE surprising people! The looks on their faces is what makes it worth it every single time.

We had Aminah’s amazing shish kebabs with dill sauce, Stephs’ WILD WINGS (dear lord, kill me… so good. SO GOOD), VARIOUS Chip bags (and sooo good) and Lara’s spinach dip… *drools* the food was incredible that night. The cupcakes, the cake! We had crazy awesome times.

I love you, little brother. You get under my skin sometimes, especially when you LIKE TO SAY THINGS THAT YOU KNOW BUG THE HELL OUT OF ME!!!! Ugghhh. HAhahah. But it’s preeetttyyy hard to stay mad at you. You’re a wonderful human and you’ve brought a lot of joy into my life, especially over the last couple of months. I can’t tell you enough how thankful I am that we crossed paths and were able to become as tight as we are. You are my protege. You are going to bust ass till your balls are blue. Get ready. And… to all the future men hoping to chop me (“I just wanna make out with somebody” *insiide jokkee but selff explaannatorrryyy*), you better watch out for Red. He’s that annoying protective little brother who will give you cut eye and assess you till you’ve proven worthy of my time. Smh.

Here are the photos of his freaking awesome super birthday. Enjoy.


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