Untitled thought #16

— There’s no use busying yourself with more. It’s called, “Turn off your phone. Get the hell out of the city. And have a freaking peaceful birthday where you think of nothing but… nothing.”



[photo c/o The Torontoist]

The vibe of the city right now feels insane. It’s not even that I don’t feel safe. I feel fine and am glad that I have spent a good arms reach away from the chaos that is G20. When I had heard about this conference coming into Toronto, I didn’t think anything of it. The idea of 20 leaders of the world’s most powerful countries actually here in one city, did not really sink in until yesterday. This billion dollar security budget? Obama has taken over the entire Fairmont Royal York with a posse of 1500?  Fake lake Muskoka remake?

I’ve been watching the news, reading the tweets, following up on online articles and the stories aggravate me. It’s the SAME sh*t. Black Bloc, Black Bloc, freakin’ anarchists. Another police car on fire, another bank vandalized, another corporate commercial store or restaurant broken into, MORE riot police on the way, louder helicopters…. it juuusttt won’tttt stooopppppppp.

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Getting there.

[Disclaimer: For full understanding, read this first.]

Mind: “… It just doesn’t make sense. How do you go from feeling one way… and then going the exact opposite direction…”
Heart: “IIII doonn’tt knoowww. *Sigh* I can’t really explain it, okay?”
Mind: “Um, you’re getting mighty ‘tudy.”
Heart: “… Alright. You want answers? Fine. Here we go. … I, I… I am just. Not. Ready.”
Mind: “… You’re not ready? What do you mean you’re not? It makes perfect sense. I thought you told me you agreed on this one, that we both believed this could be… that this was… is… real.”
Heart: “Ahhhh… I don’t knoowww. Maybe it is, maybe it isn’t. Maybe it was a fleeting moment that was, now isn’t… But if that’s the case… why do I feel this way? Why do I feel…”
Mind: “— not ready.”
Heart: “Yes. Exactly.”
Mind: “………”

Heart: “Hey. Don’t get upset now just because this still… well… confuses the heck out of you.”
Mind: “It’s not that. I just hate when you and I are not aligned. It’s like… there are those times where you FEEL like we can jump, you FEEL like we can take the risk, but I think that we can’t. I think it isn’t worth it. I rationalize. I analyze and ponder… perhaps too much. You tell me I’m just afraid. You get all on that hippy tip and tell me to trust you. And then sometimes I do and what happens? I… WAS RIGHT.”

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The Silent Treatment

Mind: “Soooo… like, why aren’t you talking to me?”
Heart: “……..”
Mind: “You know, whatever you’re going through, I feel it, eh?”

Heart: “……..”
Mind: “– even though I don’t know what it is, you and me, we’re connected… I just wanna understand. I just wanna make sense of what you’re going through… that’s just what I do, okay?”
Heart: “…….”
Mind: “You’re silence is making me feel like I’m on crazy pills or something!!”
Heart: “…… I’m sorry okay. I can’t tell you what’s going on because even I don’t understand it.”
Mind: “Mmmm… fine…. okay, so what now?”
Heart: “Sigh. I don’t know. Stop pressuring me! I don’t have any answers for you to comprehend. Maybe it’s just things that you won’t be able to put into words, put into meaning. I just feel things I can’t explain in a way you’ll understand.”
Mind: “… You’re really irritating me.”
Heart: “Why don’t you just chill? You think too much.”
Mind: “Um, YOU’RE kinda like, TOO emotional. You FEEL too much.”
Heart: “Shut up.”
Mind: “YOU Shut up.”
Heart: “Gladly.”
Mind: “Fine.”
Heart: “FINE.”
Mind: “……………..”
Heart: “……………”

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a story told well x lovehard photoshoot

I’ve probably written or name dropped him numerous times in previous posts, but Derrick of A Story Told Well has been my mentor, mother, hero, and dear friend for almost two years now. The journey of our kinship is one that is undoubtedly an integral part to my future success story. To make a long story short, career and academic wise, Derrick is the reason why I am where I am today. He has not only supported me throughout my entire video learnings thus far, but he was the one who inspired me to apply for the Radio and Television Arts program at Ryerson. I have a lifetime of gratitude and appreciation for this beautiful human being in my life.

After a lovely meal prepared by my filipino hands of wonder, we stepped into the dusk downtown streets and did a photoshoot for a lil somethin-somethin lovehard related. [Soon to be revealed!]

I’ll leave you with a few of the shots we took. Sinthuja made a guest appearance. Obvi.

Word up.

I’ve spoken my piece.


Too legit.

I guess it’s legit now folks. My job that encompasses all things facebook, twitter, blogging and video related… is friggin official. I got a bihnizzz card and it’s got my NAME on it, sssson! (Minus the fact that they totally screwed up my job title and gave me Sasha’s! Re-prints are currently in the process.)

Apparently they couldn’t fit in “Head of Video & Multi-media Online Relations”… Chris says to me, “You don’t want to be the ‘Head’ of anything or else everything falls on you.” “But I wanna be the big baows ricky raowss.” LOL. Needless to say, I had to settle for “Video & Online Relations”.



Untitled thought #15

— it’s funny to think back on exactly a week from today and you were in a totally different place, with a totally different mindset, and perhaps … was even a totally different person.


"Blackberry Love" – David Delisca

David and I filmed this a little while back and after much debating whether it was good enough for the public eye, we finally settled on a happy medium. It’s called, “David-is-a-perfectionist-and-worries-too-much-that-his-sh*t-ain’t-gold-when-it-totally-is.” LOL. I loved working with this guy. David just has this aura about him that I find… well, quite calming. He speaks softly, but with so much intent. It’s a beautiful energy. One of the most memorable things he’s ever said, that he said to my room mate after her comment of being too fearful to share her writing to the public, was that “It’s selfish to not share your words. You’re holding back from someone else being able to learn from you, relate to you, be inspired by you…”

Yeah, that’s David Delisca. =)

Without further ado, this poem goes out to all those who are/have been part of the Blackberry Nation... maybe you can feel David on this one.


DJ MENSA EPK from Char Loro on Vimeo.

For more David:

I’ve spoken my piece.

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Shine through.

Sigh. Exhale. Sigh, sigh, Exhale... last night was innnccrreeeddibblleeeeeee. I know I probably speak excitedly about many things, but real talks, I don’t boost unless I’m actually impressed or moved or inspired by something/someone. ALOE BLACC’s show last night was one of the best concerts that’s come through the Main Ingredient. The audience response was undeniable. It’s evident that Toronto longs for that soul, that heartfelt goodness… I mean, it’s one thing to go through Aloe’s entire album, and then another to see him light up on stage. When I met him during his photo shoot with Manifesto, he was more soft spoken, but his presence was powerful. I really admire that, especially from coming from someone who is naturally loud and draws attention to herself because she can’t shut up. Lol.

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Uhhh… Aloe Blacc TONIGHT?!?

If you’ve ever watched How to Make it in America, then surely you recognized this song to their opening title credits. Aloe Blacc has been on a rapid rise this year and I swear, this past month especially, I’ve heard his name blasted more than the number of post-its on my wall. What’s WITH this guy? What’s with the buzz surrounding the name that makes me think of spikey plants and moisturized skin?

Have you heard his myspace? Give the man a dolla, and peep his album.

IIIII aammmm innn loooooooveeeeeee. Sings, raps, speaks spanish…. (He has a bonus track of Ordinary People, sung in espanol called Gente Ordinaria, whaaaaaaatttttt)

His sound encompasses soul, jazz, hip hop, r&b… all the things that make my world go round.

And tonight, the Main Ingredient is throwing his show and after party at Revival, and guess who gets to be there with camera in hand? Yuuup. *Points to herself* Thiiiisss gguuyyyy. Man, I hope he’s a real chill and nice dude to talk to. I’ve heard good things, so I can’t wait to meet him!

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