Lovehard presents: Beetle Jenn

I’d like to officially introduce you to Miss Beetle Jenn, my other counterpart, sister, soul mate, room mate, best friend, wing man fo lyyyfe. If you saw my post last Thursday officially inducting Beetle Brit as a contributor for Lovehard, I made mention of Jenn having her turn up to bat this week. I love Beetle Jenn’s artistry because there is so much potential for development and mastering her craft, just from sharing her heart to the world. Her raw ability to write with conviction, write with truth, and find resolve, peace, understanding through her own scribblings on a page is something that I respect so much. It’s difficult for people to truly articulate their emotions, express themselves, just through words. That’s why so many different kinds of artists exist… we find every medium possible to free ourselves… And in that way, the simplicity of our native tongue and formulating sentences, intonation, emphasis and choosing that one word out of a kajillion in the dictionary to describe our feelings and thoughts, is an art form in itself. This is something that Jenn does so extremely well, and you’d know this if you’ve ever had a conversation with her. Passion reigns through her voice.

With all that being said, Beetle Jenn will contribute a piece from her personal journal of writings, every other week. This is a big deal for her as it was a big deal for Brit to share her raw experiments with film, because it’s… putting your whole heart out there. =) I LOVE IT!!!


“Convince Me” – Beetle Jenn

I was once told to “Lovehard.”
Simply Lovehard.
“You want me to…what?”
“LOVEHARD.”
“LOVEHARD, LOVE COURAGEOUSLY” she said with ease.
Just Lovehard.

Is it as easy as that?
Is it really so easy to just Lovehard?
What do you want me to do?
Do you want me to say it?
“I Lovehard”
…but secretly my heart has hardened.
Simply hardened.

What if I told you its Hard for me to Love?
How then, do I Lovehard?
So I just say the words with little conviction,
“I Lovehard.”

They are just words.
How do I even prove their true meaning… through actions?
Is it the actions towards a person I lust?
Is it the actions of a past that never made it?
Simply failed.

What if I told you I used to know the meaning of Lovehard?
…but I lost it.
Simply lost it.
What if I loved so Hard once, it self-destructed?
Simply vanished into thin air.

You want me to Lovehard?
Simply Lovehard?
It is not so simple.
It is not so easy.
It is not the past.
It is not the future.
To Lovehard, would mean to expose who I really am.

What would you say if I fear, that if I Lovehard, people will see my secrets?
To Lovehard is to become utterly vulnerable…isn’t it?
What would you say if I told you I once did that and I got burned?
Simply burned.
What would you say if I told you I didn’t think I had the courage to Lovehard?
To show you my soul…
…My passion
…My heart
Simply reveal.

What if the first step to Lovehard, is to have fear.
Debilitating fear.
Incapacitating fear.
Deathly fear.
Would you think my ability to Lovehard is a lost cause…
…Would you give up on me?

What if I wanted you to tell me to Be?
Simply Be.
Simply Be and Lovehard will follow.
Lovehard will humbly follow while simultaneously lighting the way.

Tell me to; Yes, Lovehard even if your heart has slightly hardened.
“Lovehard even if its Hard for you to Love.”
Tell me that if I carry forth my actions with courage, I Lovehard.
Tell me that I am Lovehard in the past.
Tell me I did make it.
“There is no fail, when you Lovehard.”
Tell me that one cannot ‘lose’ the ability to Lovehard.
“Once it etches your heart, it is forever ingrained.”
Tell me that Lovehard is indestructible.
It simply cannot vanish into thin air.

Tell me you want me to Lovehard.
Tell me you want me to become vulnerable.
Tell me that Lovehard doesn’t have the ability to burn…
“It creates.
It grows.
It flourishes.
It breathes.
It lives.
It’s past.
It’s future.”
But tell me it’s Now.
“It’s right NOW.”
“LOVEHARD NOW.”
Simply Now.

Scream it to me.
Scream it, above my mind chatter…
Above my insecurity…
Above my ego…
Above my hard heart.
“LOVEHARD”
Simply Lovehard.
Tell me that Lovehard will take care of everything.
Suppress my worries and rid me of past pain…
…past skepticism
…past doubt
…past actions
…rid me of this useless fear.

Look me in the eyes and tell me to Lovehard.
“Simply Lovehard.”
Tell me that it’s better to Lovehard than to hardly love at all…

4 Comments »

  1. DOdelisca said,

    08/12/2010 @ 5:16 pm

    This is biggggggggggggggggggggg!

    “What if I loved so Hard once, it self-destructed?
    Simply vanished into thin air.”

  2. tfhousey said,

    08/13/2010 @ 1:41 pm

    DON’T FUCKING STOP

  3. Britney said,

    08/18/2010 @ 6:58 pm

    wow. I don’t have words.

  4. justin or little beat said,

    08/19/2010 @ 1:30 pm

    love youre site

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