Riddle me this, Life.

There seems to be a constant tug-of-war going in in my world; the go-getter, make-things-happen, do-it-now side of me VS. Timing and destiny. They are both, at times, things that seem to be in harmony with one another, and at other times, seems to be on opposing ends. I believe in the law of attraction, I believe in putting it out there in the universe and it responding in kind. I believe in the power of your mind; mind over matter, mind over matter. And if you will it to be so, believe in it, see it, taste it… it’s there. It will happen. This is probably why I’m such an instantaneous person. I believe I have pretty accurate gut instincts and an unexplainable intuition with people, perhaps it is just the ability and openness to vibe with other people’s vibes. When I see something I am inspired by, something that I can’t let just walk on by… I jump. I jump far. I want it, and if you’re not going to go after it, then it just makes it easier for me to grab it. I don’t understand why some people just don’t think like this. I don’t understand their passivity. It is my most disliked trait in humans. The ability to NOT care (about the things that matter.)
And then I have to remember that this battle isn’t one-sided. It isn’t just me fighting for my dreams here. Timing and Destiny pull a fast one on me and tell me, “Wait. Not yet. Not now. Be patient. I have a time and a place for this. Trust me.”

I feel like a child.

I want to pump my fists in the air exclaiming, “Now, now, now! I want it now! Why do I have to wait? Are they CRAZY? Why WOULDN’T they? Do they know who they’re dealing with?” That question seems to come up a lot. I wonder aloud if everybody is crazy for not wanting to do what I would have done in their situation.

Not everybody is going to like you. Not everybody is going to see you the way you see you. And it comes down to that… finding that person who sees you the same way you see them. That is a rarity and a gem and it is something that I am so hopeful to experience again and so afraid to all at the very same time.

So as much as I would have jumped on the Char train had she given me the chance… not everybody would see that as ideal. And I guess that makes things a little easier for me, not having to deal with random non-serious bullsh*t that would deter me from someone who truly sees me… and I, them.

Big ups to everyone who’s shunned me or didn’t see it as worthy of their time to invest even a conversation, despite my initiation. My ego likes to believe that you’ll be bitten in the ass dealing with your feelings of regret… but let’s be honest here. Life moves forward and we cannot deny that Destiny and Timing are an unstoppable force, who, at the end of it all, balances everything in life to be the way it’s meant to be.

When Destiny, Timing, and Myself align… I’ll see you there.

I’ve spoken my piece.

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