Dear Tainted Heart

Dear Tainted Heart,

Please don’t speak.
I know what you’re going to say
I know how it’s going to make me feel
I hate how your voice speaks loud and clear
It makes me question everything
It makes me afraid
To dance with wonderful thoughts in my ahead
To tease the ideas of possibility
A single moment has the power
of Forever.
I don’t like that.
Not when it’s bad moments.
Not when it’s moments that make me lose faith in the goodness
the goodness of real people
I want to change it.
I’m going to change it
now.

Dear Tainted Heart, don’t speak.
Stop trying to protect me.
Stop trying to prevent me
From
Feeling
Seeing
Touching
Smelling
Laughing
Kissing
Hugging
Being
“Only make moves when ya heart’s in it”
My embraces hold nothing but my selfishness
My kisses are mere strokes, afraid of making fire
Tell me,
How do you love courageously?
How do you love hard?
How do you love bravely when it’s burned you so bad before?

Dear Tainted Heart, bring back the purity
Bring back the ignorance
Bring back the naive and unknown
Bring back the unmarked and unbroken
Bring back the wholeness
the oneness
that was once a Complete Heart.

Dear Tainted Heart,
Please leave me alone.
I want to remember how it feels to be struck and smitten
I want to be present to good things manifesting
Not present to a future of heartache that hasn’t happened

Dear Tainted Heart,
Even though you’re here and you still try to speak
I will do all I can to forget
It felt better when you weren’t around
It felt better when I didn’t think.

Dear Tainted Heart,
I don’t hate you.
Maybe I don’t want you to go away.
Maybe…
I just,
I just want you
I just want you to
I just want you to heal.

Love Courageously
Lovehard.

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