Alright, FINE.

You wanna know the truth? What I really think and feel that I won’t acknowledge for fear that speaking it unto the universe would make it come true?
Here it is, folks:

I long for an intimacy that I’m afraid to have.

And although I’m a firm believer that Timing is a huge factor of whether or not an individual is “ready” for that intimacy, it doesn’t change the fact that subconsciously underneath it all… I want it.
There. I said it.
I want it.

And if you’re wondering why I’m afraid… why we’re all afraid… Well, I don’t know what else to tell you other than it’s because it’s unknown, uncharted territory that for some reason, if this issue were to be a matter of geography or job opportunity, I’d be exhilarated. I’d say, “Hells yeah, who cares, let’s do it.”

This part of my life, where I’m at right now? I call it, “the downward slope from the peak of single-hood… for now.”

Sigh. Lol. Oh, Char.
I’ve spoken my piece.
Peace.

1 Comment »

  1. Maggie C said,

    04/05/2010 @ 10:09 am

    that was some real REAL sh*t. As a single woman I know what you mean. I hate to admit it but i front about being single and happy but that’s because i feel like as a single girl i have to somehow defend myself if i’m not attached.

    if i think about it objectively, i AM happy but i can’t be constantly on GO mode all the time. its the times when we slow our pace we think “okay maybe i want someone”

    i think because our society values don’t allow women to see single status as fulfillment leads us to become defensive and sometimes overcompensate for those who look on with pity. *hmmph*

    no shame in admitting you want to be part of a pair eventually though 🙂

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