%&@)*$#&@*)&%@*)&$)!

My body is FREAKING OUT right now. I swear I will punch a baby. My heart feels like it’s an alien trapped in my chest trying to kick it’s way out. Someone get this girl some blue Powerade and get a hoover, put the nozzle on my armpit, and try to suck out the four cups of coffee I had today. Strap me to a chair and cover my face with a dirty sock. I DON’T CARE. If the two Beetles weren’t sound asleep in this household, I’m preettyy sure I’d be screaming every two seconds throwing post-its everywhere. I’ll squirt non-scented hand sanitizer in your eyeballs and let it burn. COME HERE. I’ll throw you down my two flights of narrow stairs and feed you to Billy the ‘Coon.

I FEEL SO CRAZY.

All thanks to Miss Lara Zapata, who thinks, “HEY, I’M JUST GOING TO MAKE EVERYONE SCRAMBLE LIKE MICE AND POST ON FACEBOOK THIS 2 FOR 1 DEAL AT AIRCANADA, ONLY UNTIL MIDNIGHT! FLY WITH ME FOR $272 ROUND TRIP!!”

… Umm, I’m sorry, WHAT?!?


You don’t just go and POST something like that on your Facebook status unless you expect a bombing to happen at your front door. For the last hour and a half, I have LITERALLY been going out of my mind, calling, BBM’ing, tweeting, fbooking, TRYING SO DESPERATELY to find someone to fly with me. It only works ONE WAY: Two people fly the exact same flights on the exact same days together. The clock was ticking. I was frantic.

And THEN… God BLESS Redrik Barbaza for saying in one simple sentence, “Let’s do it, ma.” I jumped for joy and said to him, “I’m booking it now!!! Don’t you DARE change your mind!!” I hung up and literally 2 seconds later had my phone ring. “Eff you. Don’t you dare–” “It’s Jay’s birthday. I forgot. I can’t leave.”

Behind clenched teeth I sighed. It appeared as though defeat was going to be the only option I had left. “Really?! REALLY, UNIVERSE?! PLEASE TELL ME YOU WANT ME TO GO!!!!” I had 25 minutes to midnight. After reading a tweet from @djkidsupraa, encouraging me saying, “Don’t give up @charloro, you’re effing char loro!” I said to myself, “YEAH! COME ON! LET’S GO, LET’S GO UNIVERSE!!” I went back to the aircanada website and attempted to re-work my dates just to fit Red’s weekend plans. I was hit yet again with another wall. He wouldn’t agree to it. It’s just not worth coming down to Vancity for a Saturday to a Wednesday.

*Sigh* Was this really to be my fate?! Was I about to really blame Lara Zapata for wasting an hour and a half of my life trying to find someone to hop onto a plane spontaneously with me to Vancouver?! Would everything I had done in that time frame be all in VAIN?!

… THANK THE LORD FOR DERRICK BELCHAM.

@charloro I’ll go with you. 272 return all in?”

My mentor, my hero, my mother, my former boss, my dear wonderfully chinese-accented tall white lanky friend… You always have my back, huh?

And this is the beginning to how Char will be returning to the home front, on the cheapest plane ticket she’s ever purchased in life. Perhaps to some it may be seen as quite unfortunate that this would be the week AFTER the closing ceremonies of the Olympics, but to me… I really don’t give a monkey’s donkey’s flayed and sauteed fecal matter. Post-Olympic action?! Without a doubt. My friends re-enacting the craziness that was the last three weeks of their lives?! Hell freaking yes. GUU in GASTOWN with Beef Tataki?!?! I’m calling Tamo and Suguru right now. Warm and sunny (please, Universe?) weather, the beach, the mountains, fresh air and greenery?!!? I can’t wait for you to envelop me in your arms. I am forever in love with the city that bore me, raised me, made me, and has always loved me…

So like… Vancity… Cool… See you soon. #Kanyeshrug

I’ve spoken my piece.
Peace!!

4 Comments »

  1. k dollar bills (kristen) said,

    02/22/2010 @ 10:40 pm

    YAY GO CHAR!

  2. tararodas said,

    02/22/2010 @ 11:03 pm

    lols “I will punch a baby”

    HAHAHAHAHA

    Not mine hopefully. Not the one who makes other babies look like ……….. hehehe fill in the blank

  3. tararodas said,

    02/22/2010 @ 11:07 pm

    PS> I love Derrick Belcham!!

  4. Lara Zapata said,

    02/23/2010 @ 8:14 am

    BAHAHAH!! I love you Char!! It’s all my fault!! I’m glad you found someone to go with!!!
    Alas…I will be stuck here. I have to be here for the 10th. I have an important work presentation taht I can’t miss. But TRUST me when I say….i SOOOOOO would ahve gone with you otherwise.

    I hope you have fun, give love to our mutuals for me…lord knows we have enough down there.

    And no punching babies please!
    hahah heart you!

    Lar

RSS feed for comments on this post · TrackBack URI

Leave a Comment